Mr. President Swats a Bite Out of Alcatraz with Gator Face-Off

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Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly attempted feed something to a massive crocodile. Witnesses claim that Trump perhaps got a little too close with the animal, resulting in some nervouschuckles. The {entiresituation was captured on video, and pictures have quickly gone popular online.

Breaking News: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!

A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President The Donald has encountered a pack of highly venomous lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.

A nervous pool boy claim to read more have seen the former leader grappling with the creatures, wielding a silver spoon. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from Mr. Trump's staff.

Stay tuned for more updates on this completely unexpected event!

The Donald's Wild Tour of Alcatraz

Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Tweeter-in-Chief is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, wearing a MAGA hat the whole time. He's even rumored to be build a wall around Alcatraz during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!

Crocodile Corrections? Absolutely, Claims President Trump

Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. This situation down in Florida is gettin' worse. They got these giant lizards runnin' amok. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em wander around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta make an example of these beasts. That's why I say we gotta build a gator jail - Alcatraz for these pesky beasts, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' dealin' with the tough stuff.

The Don's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!

This ain't your typical fundraiser, folks. The Boss Man himself is hitting the muck on a wild expedition. That's right, we're talking about Trumpbattling beastly reptiles. Sources say he's packing his that ridiculous red "Make America Great Again" beanie and ready to unleash some swamp-justice. Will he make a deal with the biggest gator in the swamp? Only time will tell!

Can You Believe This?! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators

Folks, you are not gonna want to hear about this! The Donald himself, former Prez Trump, has decided to go on a wild journey. He's ditching his golf clubs for some serious courage and is going into a pen full of vicious alligators! Word on the street that this whole thing was his idea.

What could possibly go wrong?? Only time will reveal.

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